Skip to main content
Intended for healthcare professionals
Restricted access
Research article
First published online February 5, 2013

Don’t Get Your Hopes Up: Avoidantly Attached Individuals Perceive Lower Social Reward When There Is Potential for Intimacy

Abstract

We examine whether lower expectations for social reward selectively applied to high intimacy contexts may help avoidantly attached individuals minimize distress from reward loss. Studies 1, 2, and 4 demonstrated that avoidant attachment was negatively associated with perceived intimacy potential in relationships involving approach of closeness (current/future partners), but not for relationships less associated with approach of closeness (ex-partners). Studies 3 and 5 manipulated the potential for intimacy among dating prospects. Avoidant attachment was negatively associated with romantic interest in high intimacy targets but not low intimacy targets. This effect was mediated by perceived responsiveness. Studies 4 and 5 rule out perceived dissimilarity to responsive targets as a mechanism. Study 6 demonstrated that avoidants’ lower expectations for connection are associated with less anticipated distress from reward loss. These results suggest that avoidant individuals may circumvent attachment system activation by perceiving lower opportunity for connection when there is potential for intimacy.

Get full access to this article

View all access and purchase options for this article.

References

Ainsworth M. D. S., Bell S. M. (1970). Attachment, exploration, and separation: Illustrated by the behavior of one-year-olds in a strange situation. Child Development, 41, 49-67.
Baumeister R. F., Wotman S. R., Stillwell A. M. (1993). Unrequited love: On heartbreak, anger, guilt, scriptlessness, and humiliation. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 64, 377-394.
Birnie C., McClure M. J., Lydon J. E., Holmberg D. (2009). Attachment avoidance and commitment aversion: A script for relationship failure. Personal Relationships, 16, 79-97.
Bonanno G. A., Kaltman S. (2001). The varieties of grief experience. Clinical Psychology Review, 21, 705-734.
Bowlby J. (1969). Attachment and loss: Vol. 1. Attachment. New York, NY: Basic Books.
Buckley K. E., Winkel R. E., Leary M. R. (2004). Reactions to acceptance and rejection: Effects of level and sequence of relational evaluation. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 40, 14-28.
Carnelley K. B., Janoff-Bulman R. (1992). Optimism about love relationships: General vs specific lessons from one’s personal experiences. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 9, 5-20.
Carvallo M., Gabriel S. (2006). No man is an island: The need to belong and dismissing avoidant attachment style. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 32, 697-709.
Del Giudice M. (2011). Sex difference in romantic attachment: A meta-analysis. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 37, 193-214.
Edelstein R. S., Gillath O. (2008). Avoiding interference: Adult attachment and emotional processing biases. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 34, 171-181.
Feeney J. A., Noller P., Hanrahan M. (1994). Assessing adult attachment. In Sperling M. B., Berman W. H. (Eds.), Attachment in adults: Clinical and developmental perspectives (pp. 128-152). New York, NY: Guilford.
Fraley R. C., Shaver P. R. (1997). Adult attachment and suppression of unwanted thoughts. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 73, 1080-1091.
Fraley R. C., Waller N. G., Brennan K. A. (2000). An item response theory analysis of self-report measures of adult attachment. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 78, 350-365.
Gray J. A., McNaughton N. (2000). The neuropsychology of anxiety: An enquiry into the functions of the septo-hippocampal system (2nd ed.). New York, NY: Oxford University Press.
Irwin M. (2007). The life of Thomas Hardy. London, England: Wordsworth Editions.
Joel S., MacDonald G., Shimotomai A. (2011). Conflicting pressures on relationship commitment for anxiously attached individuals. Journal of Personality, 79, 51-71.
Judd C. M., Westfall J., Kenny D. A. (2012). Treating stimuli as a random factor in social psychology: A new and comprehensive solution to a pervasive but largely ignored problem. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 103, 54-69.
Laurenceau J.-P., Feldman Barrett L., Pietromonaco P. R. (1998). Intimacy as an interpersonal process: The importance of self-disclosure, partner disclosure, and perceived partner responsiveness in interpersonal exchanges. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 74, 1238-1251.
MacDonald G., Borsook T. K. (2010). Attachment avoidance and feelings of connection in social interaction. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 46, 1122-1125.
MacDonald G., Borsook T. K., Spielmann S. S. (2011). Defensive avoidance of social pain via perceptions of social threat and reward. In MacDonald G., Jensen-Campbell L. A. (Eds.), Social pain: A neuroscientific, social, and health psychology analysis (pp. 141-160). Washington, DC: APA Books.
MacDonald G., Leary M. R. (2005). Why does social exclusion hurt? The relationship between social and physical pain. Psychological Bulletin, 130, 202-223.
MacDonald G., Tackett J. L., Bakker N. (2012). Curb your enthusiasm: Attachment avoidance predicts low expectations of social reward. Manuscript submitted for publication.
Mikulincer M., Birnbaum G., Woddis D., Nachmias O. (2000). Stress and accessibility of proximity-related thoughts: Exploring the normative and intraindividual components of attachment theory. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 78, 509-523.
Mikulincer M., Dolev T., Shaver P. R. (2004). Attachment-related strategies during thought suppression: Ironic rebounds and vulnerable self-representations. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 87, 940-956.
Mikulincer M., Gillath O., Shaver P. R. (2002). Activation of the attachment system in adulthood: Threat-related primes increase the accessibility of mental representations of attachment figures. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 83, 881-895.
Mikulincer M., Shaver P. R. (2007). Attachment in adulthood: Structure, Dynamics, and Change. New York, NY: Guilford.
Mikulincer M., Shaver P. R., Bar-On N., Ein-Dor T. (2010). The pushes and pulls of close relationships: Attachment insecurities and relational ambivalence. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 98, 450-468.
Montoya R. M., Horton R. S., Kirshner J. (2008). Is actual similarity necessary for attraction? A meta-analysis of actual and perceived similarity. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 25, 889-922.
Muller D., Judd C. M., Yzerbyt V. Y. (2005). When moderation is mediated and mediation is moderated. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 89, 852-863.
Papini M. R., Wood M., Daniel A. M., Norris J. N. (2006). Reward loss as psychological pain. International Journal of Psychology and Physiological Therapy, 6, 182-213.
Preacher K. J., Hayes A. F. (2008). Asymptotic and resampling strategies for assessing and comparing indirect effects in multiple mediator models. Behavior Research Methods, 40, 879-891.
Regan P. C. (1998). What if you can’t get what you want? Willingness to compromise ideal mate selection standards as a function of sex, mate value, and relationship context. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 24, 1294-1303.
Reis H. T., Clark M. S., Holmes J. G. (2004). Perceived partner responsiveness as an organizing construct in the study of intimacy and closeness. In Mashek D. J., Aron A. P. (Eds.), Handbook of closeness and intimacy (pp. 201-225). Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum.
Spielmann S. S., MacDonald G., Tackett J. L. (2012). Social threat, social reward, and regulation of investment in romantic relationships. Personal Relationships, 19, 601-622.
Spielmann S. S., MacDonald G., Wilson A. E. (2009). On the rebound: Focusing on someone new helps anxiously attached individuals let go of ex-partners. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 35, 1382-1394.
Tidwell M. O., Reis H. T., Shaver P. R. (1996). Attachment, attractiveness, and social interaction: A diary study. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 71, 729-745.
Yzerbyt V. Y., Muller D., Judd C. M. (2004). Adjusting researchers’ approach to adjustment: On the use of covariates when testing interactions. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 40, 424-431.
Zhang Z., Zyphur M. J., Preacher K. J. (2009). Testing multilevel mediation using hierarchical linear models: Problems and solutions. Organizational Research Methods, 12, 695-719.

Biographies

Stephanie S. Spielmann recently completed her PhD in Psychology at the University of Toronto. She is currently a research statistician in the Department of Nursing at the University Health Network in Toronto. Her research interests include relational insecurities, deprived needs for love and belonging, and continued emotional attachment to ex-partners.
Jessica A. Maxwell is working towards her PhD at the University of Toronto. Her research examines attachment processes in romantic relationships, and factors that influence the accuracy of perceptions in relationships.
Geoff MacDonald is an Associate Professor in the Department of Psychology at the University of Toronto. He received a BA from Wilfrid Laurier University and a PhD from the University of Waterloo. His research focuses on relational insecurity and experiences of social exclusion/inclusion.
Patricia L. Baratta is currently completing her Master’s in Industrial/Organizational Psychology at the University of Guelph. Her primary research interests include organizational citizenship behavior and workplace deviance. She obtained her BSc at the University of Toronto and completed her undergraduate honor’s thesis on attachment in early relationship formation.

Cite article

Cite article

Cite article

OR

Download to reference manager

If you have citation software installed, you can download article citation data to the citation manager of your choice

Share options

Share

Share this article

Share with email
EMAIL ARTICLE LINK
Share on social media

Share access to this article

Sharing links are not relevant where the article is open access and not available if you do not have a subscription.

For more information view the Sage Journals article sharing page.

Information, rights and permissions

Information

Published In

Article first published online: February 5, 2013
Issue published: February 2013

Keywords

  1. attachment style
  2. attachment system deactivation
  3. intimacy
  4. rejection
  5. romantic relationships

Rights and permissions

© 2012 by the Society for Personality and Social Psychology, Inc.
Request permissions for this article.
PubMed: 23386658

Authors

Affiliations

Stephanie S. Spielmann
University of Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Jessica A. Maxwell
University of Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Geoff MacDonald
University of Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Patricia L. Baratta
University of Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Notes

Stephanie S. Spielmann, Department of Psychology, University of Toronto, 100 St. George Street, Toronto, ON, Canada, M5S 3G3 Email: [email protected]

Metrics and citations

Metrics

Journals metrics

This article was published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin.

VIEW ALL JOURNAL METRICS

Article usage*

Total views and downloads: 1022

*Article usage tracking started in December 2016


Altmetric

See the impact this article is making through the number of times it’s been read, and the Altmetric Score.
Learn more about the Altmetric Scores



Articles citing this one

Receive email alerts when this article is cited

Web of Science: 36 view articles Opens in new tab

Crossref: 38

  1. Every vote you make: Attachment and state culture predict bipartisansh...
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  2. Coping or Thriving? Reviewing Intrapersonal, Interpersonal, and Societ...
    Go to citation Crossref Google ScholarPub Med
  3. Parenting and courage: Exploring the mediating role of self-esteem and...
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  4. The Impact of Attachment Styles on Attitudes Toward Marriage: The Medi...
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  5. Attachment orientations, emotion goals, and emotion regulation
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  6. Individuals' favorite songs' lyrics reflect their attachment style
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  7. Avoidant attachment attenuates the need-threat for social exclusion bu...
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  8. Childhood emotional neglect predicts empathic accuracy in social inclu...
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  9. Time After Time: Attachment Orientations and Impression Formation in I...
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  10. We’re Not That Choosy: Emerging Evidence of a Progression Bias in Roma...
    Go to citation Crossref Google ScholarPub Med
  11. Support Processes Predict Declines in Attachment Avoidance Across the ...
    Go to citation Crossref Google ScholarPub Med
  12. Support Processes Predict Declines in Attachment Avoidance Across the ...
    Go to citation Crossref Google ScholarPub Med
  13. An Attachment Perspective on Solitude and Loneliness
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  14. Brain structure correlates of expected social threat and reward
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  15. Accuracy and bias in first impressions of attachment style from faces
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  16. The Cambridge Handbook of Personality Psychology
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  17. Attachment Theory
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  18. The predictive effects of fear of being single on physical attractiven...
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  19. Implications for Reward Processing in Differential Responses to Loss: ...
    Go to citation Crossref Google ScholarPub Med
  20. Changing character: A narrative review of personality change in psycho...
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  21. Social motives, attributions and expectations as predictors of the dec...
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  22. Adult attachment and long-term singlehood
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  23. Nothing ventured, nothing gained: People anticipate more regret from m...
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  24. Toward a Psychology of Singlehood: An Attachment-Theory Perspective on...
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  25. Wanting to Stay and Wanting to Go...
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  26. Attachment (in)security and threat priming influence signal detection ...
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  27. Social Anhedonia and Romantic Relationship Processes
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  28. Avoidant attachment style predicts less positive evaluations of warm (...
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  29. Narrative meaning making, attachment, and psychological growth and str...
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  30. Avoidant individuals may have muted responses to social warmth after a...
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  31. Attachment, culture and initial romantic attraction: A speed-dating st...
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  32. Adult attachment and transportation into narrative worlds
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  33. Nice guys finish first when presented second: Responsive daters are ev...
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  34. The good, the bad, and the risky...
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  35. Avoiding affection, avoiding altruism: Why is avoidant attachment rela...
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  36. Relationship status moderates avoidant attachment differences in posit...
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  37. Insecure attachment predicts ambivalent social threat and reward perce...
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar
  38. Attachment Theory as a Framework for Understanding Responses to Social...
    Go to citation Crossref Google Scholar

Figures and tables

Figures & Media

Tables

View Options

Get access

Access options

If you have access to journal content via a personal subscription, university, library, employer or society, select from the options below:

SPSP members can access this journal content using society membership credentials.

SPSP members can access this journal content using society membership credentials.


Alternatively, view purchase options below:

Purchase 24 hour online access to view and download content.

Access journal content via a DeepDyve subscription or find out more about this option.

View options

PDF/ePub

View PDF/ePub

Full Text

View Full Text